DITCH THE DRAMA!!

By the time I was about a Sophomore in High School (15 yrs old) I had begun to pick up on somethings.  I didn't enjoy meanness, negativity and drama.  I didn't like when people were mean and aggressive toward me.  I didn't like being around when people were mean to others.  I didn't even enjoy the feelings that I had when I was mean to someone else.

The easy part was deciding to avoid mean and aggressive people and all of their drama.  Probably the next easiest part was trying to not be mean and negative anymore myself.  But then things got a little complicated.  I realized that sometimes people thought I was being mean when I wasn't.  I also realized that sometimes I was negative when I wasn't intending to be.  Lastly I picked up on the fact that there were times when I thought others were being mean or angry and in all reality they were not.  Or at least not on purpose.

For about a decade of my life (16 years old until about 26 years old) I tried to isolate the main components of getting past this mean, negative and dramatic problem.  I came to 2 major and many minor conclusions.  Today I will only mention the 2 big ones, INTENTIONAL EFFORT and COMMUNICATION SKILLS.

I learned that many people (myself included) have a natural negative disposition.  If we just drift along in life and go with what comes natural, we will be very harsh and critical.  But I also learned that with information and effort, this can be altered for the better.  I began to read about the perils of being negative and read and listen to positive people and realize the affects that it had on me just hearing them and being around them.  I remember saying out loud to myself in my truck. "I want to make people feel like these people make me feel."

One of the most unique tools that I have ever worked on has been learning to say something negative that has to be said but saying it in a positive way.  I have not been wonderful at this but I have worked on it and over long periods of time, I believe I have done better.

The other thing that I learned besides just seeking out information and putting forth effort, was this; Communication skills are probably the single most important element to not being mean, negative and condescending.  Proper communication is key to not complicating other people's lives.  The more you communicate, the better you tend to get at it.  The more you communicate outside your normal comfort zone, the greater of a communicator you become.

I have probably excelled a lot more in my professional life in these areas than I have in my private life.  Because of that, I have spent some time lately working specifically on better communication and more positive relations in my private life.

The reason that I write this today is this.  I was driving around town last Saturday doing errands. (Nine days until Christmas).  I was mailing packages, picking up donations, giving out little thank you gifts to people in the service industry, etc.  And I noticed a pattern.  I saw 4 people in line at Walmart, 3 of them were angry and complaining and the 4th was completely oblivious to everyone and everything.  I stopped at McDonalds for coffee and there was a person at the counter yelling at the server.  I drove about 20 blocks and during my drive I noticed 5 different people on cell phones, with angry expressions and yelling into their phones.

Right then I started praying for people.  Just people in general.  Then I started thanking God for my wife, kids, staff, church and friends.  People that are much more positive than your average Americans.  People that I attempt on a regular basis to communicate properly with and teach to communicate well with others.   I also asked forgiveness for several times lately that I could think of where I wasn't kind and didn't communicate well.  And then...I begged God for my ministry.  I asked Him to somehow help us to spread better communication, more hope, less aggression, more stability in relationships and more truth.

My humble musings,
Rev. D. Todd Sloggett

Why Do MEN Support Abortion?!

For the longest time I struggled with what kind of weird twisted thinking could possibly go through the minds of people that are not pro-life!  I mean, just the fact that they were allowed to be born so that they could think about this concept should challenge their ideas.

I don't even understand how it became a woman's right issue or a health care issue.  The facts, stats, science and social climate doesn't even support being non-pro-life.  And then something happened.  Something that only could have clicked if it came at just the right time under just the right set of seemingly unconnected circumstance.

I saw a statistic that said "77% of all pro-choice leaders are men".  BAM!!  A light came on.  Now to be fair, if I had read this 9 months ago, 3 years ago....I would have most likely just skimmed right over it and moved on.  BUT.......

I will do my very best to not convolute this and keep it simple and clear.  Most of you will know exactly what I am talking about and some of you will pretend not to.  But it will be too late.  I will have already connected the dots for you.

If you take the facts that a) we probably live in the most selfish society and culture ever b) our culture and societal influences have brought us to the point where everyone is trying to get out of all possible responsibilities.  It is always, my parent's fault, societies fault, the governments fault, the white man's fault, the Mexican's fault, the black people's fault, the Republican's fault, the Democrat's fault, big government's fault, big business's fault, Walmart's fault, the Oil executives fault..........a bad raising, a bad crowd that I got in with, the rules are prejudice against me, etc. etc. etc.

Then you add c) the monopolizing, monetizing and sexualizing of women.  As an adult male with three grown sons, a grown daughter, two daughters in law and a granddaughter, I can hardly go                                anywhere or do anything in America anymore without considering the sexuality factor.  There are inappropriate men and women, sexual innuendoes and blatant sexuality in literally every aspect of life anymore.  Sex sells so sex rules.

Now you add d).  Male dominated abuse of power.  (see my last blog about Harvey Weinstein).  Over the last several months, it has been brought to light over and over and over again how men that have great power, wether through money, politics, fame or religion, can abuse and cover up their inappropriate sexual desires, dominance and abuse of women.

Now, you take these 4 factors of a belligerent and backslidden society and add one more little thing and you touch off a powder keg.  The little thing....guilt.  It crossed my mind that if you have a bunch of men that have learned to be selfish, taught to not take responsibility for their actions and they want to have inappropriate sex with women that they have power over.....OF COURSE THEY WOULD BE PRO-ABORTION!


#1 It leaves a way to erase the damning life long evidence and #2 It makes them appear compassionate to all of the other women that they haven't abused yet.  Consider this and you may finally realize why there is such a large percentage of men, driving the pro-choice movement and how that particular movement is still about men sexualizing and abusing women and having a legal and "compassionate" means to make some of their problems, burdens and guilt go away so that they don't have to own their responsibilities and they can continue their selfish ways.

My Humble Musings,
Rev. D. Todd Sloggett